When I think of F Scott Fitzgerald, incidentally not a day goes by without thinking of him, especially today when I began watching the first few minutes of the BBC Special on youtube (again), it was the sweeping sad background music that filled me with deep melancholy.
It was meant to fill the audience with nostalgia of the bygone era, the brief tragic life of F Scott Fitzgerald, of everything that Fitzgerald himself felt when his heydays had gone by him, he was a thing of the past even in his present.
And I weep for him. For the beauty of his soul, the language that poured out of him, the sadness that he felt. Life was not working for him after a while. Or maybe it never worked for him.
What if he had graduated from Princeton? I do not think that would have made a difference. But what if Zelda had not married him. Hemmingway knew she was not good for him.
Love makes the world go round, and that is the only reason he rewrote 'This Side Of Paradise' into a bestseller. Love is the only true motivator toward excellence and that is why he was able to produce that masterpiece. If not for his love for Zelda, he would not have achieved the first immediate success and yet in that love for that woman, he met his downfall. They quarreled a lot, there was no fiscal sense in one or both of them, she proved selfish in not doing what was best for his writing health and career while looking after her own as well, and the last bit of straw was paying dearly for her mental illness in so many ways. Not that, anything else could have happened differently, if she was healthy. They would have continued quarreling, throwing big parties, eventually run out of money, and due to marital discord - would not have produced any great work.
Somewhere in his childhood, even before he met Zelda, certain habits and values that he honed or was honed in him proved detrimental after all. Fiscal sense and also a sense of self-worth not dependent on money or class was not instilled in him. His need to be elitist - was his top aspiration and love - his top motivation.